For most of my adult life, I have made excuses as to why I have not been following my dreams and my heart’s desires. Years ago when I was young and idealistic about my role or purpose in life, I did not have the emotional, creative or spiritual foundation to move forward and create the type of business my heart desired. Yes, I received my Bachelor of Fine Arts and my certification as a Professional Art Therapist, but I did not have a full grasp of how to build my practice to reflect my vision, values or spiritual clarity and maturity.
When I look back on my life, I can truthfully say that yes, I have worked in amazing environments, with many different ages of people, each with a variety of emotional and physical needs and challenges. Yes, I have found my private practice in the past to be interesting, exciting and rewarding. As the result of a variety of challenging and life-altering experiences I have had over the last eighteen years, I have decided to change my vision for my practice and business.
A by-product of having overcome three brain injuries and seven years of constant vertigo, is that I ran the gamut of emotional experiences, including anxiety, depression, isolation, deep grief, fear, low self-esteem, anger, resentment, denial, exhaustion, surrender, inclusion, faith, hope, connection, empathy, compassion, frustration, despair, willingness, acceptance, trust, love, joy, peace, discipline, self-acceptance, excitement, and freedom. Yes, it has been a challenging journey to find out who I really am, what I am worth, what I deserve, what I need, and what I truly want from life. Throughout all of my life, I have had my constant companions of art, creativity and spirituality.
My art and writing have evolved over time, and at one point, my ability to create stopped, and I have had to learn how to start over, almost from the beginning because of a brain injury in June of 2016. My creativity has always been a vibrant part of my life from as far back as I can remember. Yes, I was the girl who was told to stop day-dreaming, stop doodling in the margins of my school books, stop dancing, stop playing, and stop laughing—to pay attention and basically stop being a free spirit. I am so grateful that my parents let me go to art school to start my journey of self-discovery.
Many times I found I didn’t fit the picture of who my family or environment wanted me to be. I have conformed and altered myself in many ways, sometimes not knowing what my own opinion was, or how I should or could feel about a situation. I have had to learn many life lessons in unpleasant and unsuccessful ways. As most of us do, we survive, learn to tolerate uncomfortable situations, and deny our true selves. We blame other people and events for our circumstances and failures, not taking responsibility for our own life.
“I did it my way!!!”
Throughout my whole life, I’ve always felt there was someone, something, or a presence watching over me. Many times, I’ve felt alone, angry, unwanted and misunderstood, sometimes desperate, to know what or who that presence or energy was. I’ve talked to that presence most of my life. When I was young, I had a rich fantasy life, believing I had been left behind by aliens. I never felt I belonged or was accepted by human beings. Part of this was because I was an undiagnosed Dyslexic until I was twelve years old, and even after that they had essentially no idea in the ’70s what to do with or how teach dyslexic people. I would day dream and see my people’s ship arrive and scoop me up and take me to my true home.
My spiritual life has been my most treasured, and at times a most difficult journey. I have worked hard to uncover who I am and who Spirit says I am, instead of who the world says I am. I have unpacked and examined many of the lies, judgements, criticisms, and false masks I adopted as my true identity. I have been learning about and discovering my self-worth, and my Spirit-given talents and gifts. I have discovered and chosen supportive communities that accept and treasure me for who I am, and not for what they can get or take from me.
Art and creativity have played an enormous role on this journey. As a child, my creative abilities were fostered in an after-school art class, once a week for eight years. I had an amazing, nurturing and empowering art instructor named Beatrice Lenny. She introduced me to concepts and techniques in drawing, oil painting, wood carving, First Nations’ Art, and sculptures in clay and soapstone. Art has been my lifeline since I can remember. I recall in about Grade 10, I had a realization that if I could succeed and excel in artwork, then I could succeed in other areas of my life. I was convinced by my parents, my tutor Barbara Reid, and Beatrice Lenny that it wasn’t just my academic grades which defined who I was. I realized and began to accept that my creative brain, artistic talent and compassion for people, were my future and hope in life.
Now, my passion and delight in life is igniting creativity, artistic gifts and healing in the lives of other people. Through my life’s experiences in art, creativity and spirituality, I have a deep faith in the human spirit’s ability and desire to create a whole, healthy, joyful, loving and adventurous life.
I know that I am still a work in progress and I will be learning, growing, and thriving now and forever. I feel a little vulnerable and defiantly authentic as I write this message. It is important that I explain the ‘why’ behind my launch of Art Connects Hearts and outline who I am and my journey so far.
I’ve been developing my vision for my business over the years, and am continuing to learn new ideas and techniques. Currently I am working to become a Certified ARTbundance ™ Coach and Practitioner. http://artellaland.com/act.html/ I will be certified in July of 2020. What I love about the ARTbundance program is its Cornerstones and Principles which align with my vision for my own practice. Art Connects Hearts will continue to evolve and grow as I learn the needs and desires of my clientele.
I am always interested, and invite a discussion of ideas around these three topics of art, creativity and spirituality. I am excited about the possibilities and potential we have, and the journey we can travel together.
Zara – Your Creative Healing Mentor
PS. Sign up here to get a FREE PDF Report for an opportunity to set out on a journey to discover your unique creative expressions through art, writing, play, movement and other creative activities.